Your Feelings Are Valid, But...
Hi Friends,
In this letter I’m going to be sharing:
My thoughts about your feelings…you’ll see what I mean
How to shift what you feel - We all need lots of support with this right now!
Things I’m paying attention to that may be interesting to you too
Your Feelings Are Valid—But Are Your Interpretations Helping You?
You’ve heard me say it before - All feelings are okay, it’s what we say and do with them that matters the most!
Feelings are an essential part of being human. They provide us with valuable information about our experiences, our needs and our relationships. But while every emotion is valid, the meaning we assign to those emotions isn’t always accurate or helpful. Our brains are wired to make sense of the world quickly (sup biases), so the moment we feel something—anger, sadness, disappointment, even joy—our brain scrambles to attach a story to it. The problem? Many of these stories were formed in childhood or past experiences and may not reflect the full truth of what’s happening now.
We can literally be moving through adulthood in childlike ways because of that wiring!
For example, if you grew up in an environment where anger led to disconnection or punishment, you might automatically interpret feeling angry as dangerous or shameful, rather than seeing it as a signal that a boundary has been crossed. If you were repeatedly told you were "too sensitive," sadness might trigger an internal narrative that you’re overreacting, rather than a recognition that something genuinely hurt you. These automatic pairings between feelings and meaning are learned, and without awareness, they can keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns—shutting down when we need to speak up, lashing out when we need connection or avoiding feelings altogether.
This is why emotional awareness isn't just about recognizing what we feel—it’s about questioning the meaning we attach to those feelings. Next time you experience a strong emotion, pause and ask yourself: What am I making this mean? Is this meaning based on an old story, or is it something I would choose to believe now? The goal isn’t to dismiss emotions, but to make sure the interpretation serves you rather than limits you. You might find that a feeling you’ve always associated with rejection is actually just discomfort in a new situation, or that frustration is an invitation to set a boundary rather than proof that you’re failing.
When we separate feelings from old, automatic interpretations, we create space for new possibilities. We move from reacting to responding, from assumption to curiosity, and from self-judgment to self-compassion. And in that space, we can make choices that align with who we want to be—not just who we’ve been conditioned to be.
Things I’m paying attention to that may pique your interest too!
Modern Manners For Teens/Kids: Something that comes up often with my parent coaching clients is how to support kids in developing their manners (a.k.a. human kind skills) and this tool has been super helpful for me and them! The design is simply and attractive (a must for me and my neurodivergent brain) and the conversations it sparks are *chef’s kiss. A much needed tool to discuss topics that are essential yet often overlooked. There’s a version for teens and kids!
Finch App - A client shared this app with me and it seems like a lovely way to create a buy in to accomplish the things you need to in order to care for yourself and manage your life in better ways. Check it out!
Bedroom Dance Parties - I determined I need more dopamine hits to replace the ones I was getting from TikTok and IG. One of the ways I’m doing that is to have dance parties throughout the day. I love music and I love dancing so those paired together are *chef’s kiss for getting more feel good chemicals flowing. This playlist on Spotify has been on repeat lately.
One Community - I mentioned in my last email how being actionable when we are feeling depressed, anxious, angry, etc. is part of processing emotions in healthy ways so I’ve been connecting with organizations in my community, including this one. I joined their membership and I’m volunteering at an upcoming event and I’m really excited to connect with more folks who are doing incredible work in my area.
This Week on Make Discomfort Your B*tch:
Ep. 43: Stop Gaslighting Yourself...Honoring Your Pain & Finding Your Voice with Monique Elliott
Sending all of the love your way! Thank you for reading and hanging out in this space!